Thursday, July 2, 2015

What's In Your Oxygen Tank?

All five of us are down here on Amelia Island vacationing, and we're having a great time together.  The past year has been... how should I say... FULL (definition: containing or holding as much or as many as possible; having no empty space). We've experienced a lot - some major ups and some major downs. But like people do, we rolled with the punches and now we find ourselves back in our happy place... together.  I love the lazy mornings - watching each of my kids wake up on their own time and make their way slowly into the kitchen/living area with their sleepy eyes and messy hair.  I like that the beach house is small - no space goes unused and we're all together most of the time.  There's not a basement with a PS3 for my kids to go to... there aren't a pack of neighborhood kids playing just outside our window begging our kids to come out - it's just us ... in this sweet place... together.  I love it.

I have enjoyed my early morning runs here on the plantation.  There are endless routes around here - some on the gorgeous serene marsh side - some on the beach side - and some actually ON the beach... I have started running more often and occasionally enjoy a nice looonngg run. I enjoy my running time when I spend time with my thoughts - spend time in prayer - spend time thinking through the day... The best scenario for me is when I get up early enough to run, come back and turn on the coffee pot, grab a quick shower and then relax for a few minutes with my coffee and book (or my daily Skimm).  THEN I feel ready for the day.

What do you do to get ready for your day? To recharge and reboot? We live in a go-go-go society, don't we? And those of us in the throws of raising kids go all the time. All. The. Time. If we don't spend time feeding our souls, minds, hearts, bodies, etc., then we can't keep the ship sailing.  Trust me... I know.

Last Summer my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer. On top of this, she had open heart surgery  to replace her aortic valve.  Seven weeks after her heart surgery, she had a lobe of her lung removed. Fortunately, my mom made it through all of that with flying colors and she's doing amazingly well now. In fact, looking at her and looking at the way she lives her life, you'd be shocked to find out she had endured these health issues. Those of you with sick parents know what it's like to take care of your parents AND your own family at the same time.  It's nearly impossible. I would spend nights with my mom at the hospital, go home in the  morning to shower and say hello to my kids - go back to the hospital for the day - then home again to feed my kids dinner - then back for the night.  Doing this night after night for weeks took its toll - on me, on my marriage, on my relationship with my kids. Everyone was supportive but it was HARD... and I lost it a little bit.  I remember sinking to the floor by my front steps and just crying... Crying because I felt sorry for my mom - crying because I felt sorry for my family and crying because I felt sorry for myself. 

I was so busy taking care of everyone else - I wasn't taking care of myself.  After my little meltdown, I started saying YES PLEASE when someone asked me if they could cook a meal for my family (prior to my meltdown, I felt guilty accepting help from anyone.  After all, it wasn't I who was enduring the surgeries - it was my mom - I was fine... or so I thought) or YES PLEASE when someone offered to take the night shift so I could sleep at home or YES PLEASE when someone offered to take the kids for an afternoon or night.

Accepting help really did help ease some of the stress. This was a situation or period of time when I didn't have time for a run or hanging out with friends or any of the other ways I like to fuel myself... but in my real life when I'm not dealing with a sick parent or other major crisis, I do have times to fuel myself. I may have to look really hard to find time in my schedule for ME and it may not be easy, but it's do-able and necessary for me to function as a wife, mother, daughter, sister, employee, friend, etc.

There is a reason on a flight that we are told to put the oxygen mask on ourselves BEFORE we put it on our kids. How can we help them breathe if we are struggling ourselves to breathe?

I'd love to know what's inside your oxygen tank? How do you stay recharged and ready to deal with life at any given moment? And if you don't have an answer to these questions, I encourage you to explore some options for yourself - make sure you take some time JUST FOR YOU each day.  You'll be better because of it!