To Cleanse or Not to Cleanse ?

I started a 2 Day DETOX on Tuesday afternoon.  I had already begun mentally drafting this blog before I even started the detox - about how great it was, how "cleansed" I felt....  Well, I'm here to tell you that the draft has changed a bit since then :).  Matt and I bought all of the juice and water needed for the detox from Arden's Garden.  Two days - $40.00/person.  Drink one gallon of distilled water and one gallon of fresh juice (grapefruit, orange and lemon juice) a day for two days.  2 gallons of liquid a day - no problem, I thought.  I didn't start this with the intention of losing weight.  I  did it because I was curious about how one feels when one is truly....cleansed.

So, I had my last meal at lunch on Tuesday - a nice, big salad with mixed greens, mushrooms, red onions, grape tomatoes, black beans, etc.  Mmm.... solid food.

This is what I started with:

It was suggested that we drink some pear juice to "get things moving" the night before we started the cleanse.  I enjoyed the pear juice on the way home from work, expecting  to be running in the door to the bathroom.  Well, I waited and waited and waited.  I was braced and ready for a big experience in the bathroom (it even says, "BEWARE, IT'S PEAR" on the label!!).

Nothing.

I won't bore you with all of the details, but by 9:30 a.m. the next morning, I had already peed 7 times since waking just 4 hours earlier.  By noon, the count rose to 13 times.  After "lunch" (a cup of distilled water), I sat down at my computer to do some work.  I heard a little something outside my window.  Oh, a cute little blue bird.  Look at him pecking at the windowsill.  Cute bird....YUMMY bird.  I wonder what the bird tastes like.  Chicken, maybe?  I don't even care.  I just want to eat that little blue bird!!!  Let's just say that after I imagined myself deep frying that cute little bird, I knew I probably wouldn't make it the full 48 hours.

And, I was right.

After I did two carpools in the afternoon, I came in the door and (after I used the restroom for the 16th time) helped myself to my mother-in-law's freshly made crab cakes.  And then I had a few slices of turkey pepperoni.  I followed that with a square of dark chocolate.  Then I had a few bites of lentil soup.  Oh, and I made Matthew a melted turkey and cheese sandwich before his football game, and I had a few bites of that, too!  I had never been so happy to be eating food - good, tasty, solid food!

My 48 hour cleanse ended after about 23 hours.  I gave it my best shot and found that peeing over and over really didn't give me much satisfaction.   I think I would have gotten more out of it if I had just come back from a girls' weekend full of wine and appetizers - or if I had a fancy event to attend and I had a tiny dress to fit into.  Until then, I'll continue to enjoy eating a lot of vegetables and fruits - feeling "cleansed" in my own way.